Wait Until After The Riot

The Riot

Recently, I drafted a blog to vent about some things that are deeply distressing to me.

Wow, did I ever want to schedule that to be published!

— I wanted to have my say…

— And let everyone know what I was thinking and feeling…

— And convince everyone that I was right…

— And get everyone to agree with me…

— So everyone would be just as outraged and enraged as I was…

— So everyone would willingly fight to change the world to the way I wanted it to be…

So I would get my way.

(Feel free to write “Joni’s self-will run riot” in the margin next to this section.)

Wait

But there was this distant, almost imperceptible, whisper that warned, “something’s not right in my spirit”. It was so faint and so far away that I almost published the blog anyway.

I was tired. So tired I didn’t want to stay awake even thirty more minutes to get the blog loaded to my site and scheduled.

I’m grateful to God I was too tired. I won’t list the “way too many” instances of poor and destructive decisions I’ve made when I’m tired (or tired of things).

After The Riot

The next day, I was rested enough to remember that I needed to ask God if He wanted me to publish that draft.

In a gentle, slightly louder, whisper than the warning the night before, He said in my spirit, “Don’t publish it.”

So I asked Him to calm my spirit and help me let go of the things that were upsetting me.

And then I asked him for clarity and for the words He wanted me to write.

What Now?

Well…

I’m calmer, and still praying for help to deal with people and events I can’t control or change.

The clarity is that my draft blog was about certain events where others are doing whatever it takes to get their way, regardless of the harm they’re inflicting. The irony that my blog was phrased in a way that could harm others is NOT lost on me. And while my words probably wouldn’t have been as destructive as the events I was discussing, my rant fits under the category of me pointing my index finger at someone and realizing that three of my fingers are pointing back at me.

And the words of this blog remind me that:

— I only want to say what God wants me to say…

— If I need to express my thoughts and feelings to anyone but God, He’ll let me know…

— I don’t have to convince anyone I’m right…

— Others don’t have to agree with me….

— I don’t want anyone (including me) to be so “outraged” that it permeates inward to become “enraged”, where physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual destruction can be catastrophic…

— I can choose my battles, and let everyone else choose theirs. And even if I win every fight, the world still may not be the way I want it to be…

I don’t need my way. God is the only source who can give me peace, and His way is what I really want.

(Feel free to write “God’s will is the only way to quell the riots in Joni’s spirit” in the margin next to this section.)

What calms your spirit and gives you clarity?

Wait Until After The Riot – What calms your spirit and gives you clarity? Share on X

Joni Vance is an award-winning author of fiction, essay, and poetry. She loves mystery, history, and how God reveals Himself every day.

May God reveal the mystery of His love in your life story.