The Lessons of Time

Using Time

I get busy. And focused. And crazed.

— Too busy to call or text.

— Too focused on the task at hand to take a few minutes to contact friends.

— Too crazed with the to-do list to stop and show how much I cherish loved ones.

Time Is A Teacher

I got a social media notification about a friend’s birthday. Her account still exists even though she stepped into eternity over two years ago.

Four years ago, I moved 150 miles from the town where we both lived. My grief at moving was intense. But I could have driven 2.5 hours (each way) once a month to spend the afternoon with her and my other friends in the writing group she led.

I thought not going would help me detach because my “life now” was 150 miles from the “old life”.

I see now that I didn’t need to detach. I could have participated in that previous activity and still found activities in the new city.

And now, the opportunity no longer exists. But my sorrow at not going while I could, is still with me.

The Illusion of Time

Is it that life swirls so quickly, it seems like time won’t run out? That life will continue as is, with nothing interrupting the way things are? And the people in our lives now will stay in our lives forever?

Believing life won’t change and people will always be there is an illusion I create to feel safe.

But it is an illusion.

If I acknowledged all the bad things that could happen outside the house, I’d never leave. And if I acknowledged all the bad things that could happen at home, an equally frightening list could emerge.

In order to function at all, I think we all create an illusion of safety. And part of that illusion is that our loved ones will be safe, and always with us.

But when the illusion is disrupted, we’re forced to face reality.

Time to Face Reality

Tell your loved ones you value and cherish them. Spend as much time and show as much kindness and love as you can.

To my loved ones who have stepped into eternity, I’ll see you again. And thankfully, eternity will be plenty of time to tell you I love you and spend time with you.

And to my loved ones who are still with me on this earth, expect a call. Or a text. Or an email. Or a visit.

I’d love to hear from you as well.

What lesson has helped you value your loved ones?

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Joni Vance is an award-winning author of fiction, essay, and poetry. She loves mystery, history, and how God reveals Himself every day.


May God reveal the mystery of His love in your life story.

6 thoughts on “The Lessons of Time

  1. You are so right, it is very hard to stay up to date with friends. I feel bad when I don’t, and yet, its like, do this one more thing and then call, text, email and then you look at the clock and know they are in bed and you shouldn’t wake them up and you are ready to fall into bed yourself. And the next day, and the next day…. the same thing. I get very guilt ridden as I think about it all. I admire your strength and caring personality that you want to be intentional to keep up. You are a great role model for us all:)

    • Thanks for sharing. But I do the same thing – have plans to text or email or call and then get busy. I need the reminder like everyone else! Thanks for reading and sharing. 🙂

  2. Thank you for your words, Joni. I especially appreciated your last section on Time to Face Reality. I needed the reminder to make sure I’m telling my loved ones NOW how much they mean to me. Blessings!

  3. I’ll have a blog post about it in the next month or so, but I just attended a memorial service of a family member of a good friend from about 20 years ago. I had strong friendships in that church, but after changing churches and over time, I haven’t kept in touch. Seeing many of those friends at the service and catching up made me want to do a better job of staying in touch.

    • Thank you for sharing your recent experience, Tim. I appreciate you reading and commenting.

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