Biting My Tongue Hurts

Biting my tongue hurts.

Physically

When I accidentally bite my tongue during a meal, the shooting pain can turn into a throbbing ache.

But at least I’m the only one who feels that hurt.

Emotionally

There are times when I decide not to say something I feel “needs to be said”.

Biting my tongue then hurts, too.

It hurts my ego.

Thankfully, I’m still the one who suffers when I do that.

What if I don’t bite my tongue?

I can easily delude myself into thinking, “They need to hear it. Whether it hurts them or not, it’s for their own good.”

Now I’m not talking about speaking the truth in the most loving way because God has let me know that’s what He wants me to do.

I’m talking about deciding I know what’s best for someone else, and spouting my opinion.

When I do that, I want to believe I don’t hurt the other person — or me.

But that isn’t the truth.

When I don’t bite my tongue and I should, I’m consciously choosing to harm another human being.

And my relationship with them is harmed. Which means I’m hurt as well.

Yes, biting my tongue hurts.

Not biting my tongue can hurt more.

What helps you bite your tongue when you need to keep quiet?

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Joni Vance is an award-winning author of fiction, essay, and poetry. She loves mystery, history, and how God reveals Himself every day.


May God reveal the mystery of His love in your life story.

4 thoughts on “Biting My Tongue Hurts

  1. Only God can help me bite my tongue when I desperately want to blurt out my opinion. I am constantly amazed at the miracle that occurs when He does it and gives me the grace to hold myself back. It is such a hard thing to do, and I know what you mean about deciding what is best for people and having to hold that back because it would hurt them and me in the long run if I say it. I love your blogposts. They give so much food for thought and you keep it very real and helpful as we all deal with these hard parts of life. Thank you for being open and sharing deep thoughts😍.

  2. Great reminder Joni. I need this often.

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