The Dangers of Comparison

“Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.”

Richard L. Evans

Not Where I Want To Be

It’s easy to become discouraged or discontent when where I am isn’t where I want to be.

One sure way to get discouraged is to compare myself to others.

Comparing My Insides to Someone Else’s Outsides

It seems as if their wonderful personality trait is natural and comes to them effortlessly. But I don’t know what made them that way — what they have endured and survived.

For example, if they show more mercy than I do, they might have been born with a phenomenal amount of mercy. But maybe they have mercy because they know what it’s like to be abused.

Or if they exude peace no matter what is happening, and continually say they trust God without question. Perhaps they’ve endured serious health issues and God healed them even when the doctors said there was no hope.

Comparing my Outsides to Someone Else’s Outsides

It can seem like someone’s else success is pure luck. But I don’t see the years of hard work, and the things they sacrificed.

Perhaps they are more talented than I am. But talent usually only gets a person so far. Hard work and practice and persistence to nurture that talent are required to be successful.

Even if I am more talented and have worked harder, they still might achieve more success than I do. And I may never understand the reasons why.

What Happens When I Compare

One danger when I compare myself to others, is my self-esteem can plummet because I feel like I’ll never be “good enough”.

I can even go the other direction and think I’m better than someone else if I have qualities or success they don’t. This is still a self-esteem problem. I’m trying to make myself feel like I’m “good enough” by pretending I’m superior.

But the most damage I do to myself, is that I forget God’s part.

I forget that God created me (and everyone else) with specific talents and abilities that we are meant to use to enrich the lives of others.

I think God planned it like a big puzzle. If everyone does their part, all the pieces fit together and the “whole map of need” is covered.

Of course, that means if I waste my time comparing myself to others, or keep trying to be successful in an area where I have zero talent (and no amount of work and persistence will enhance it), then I’m not doing what I was meant to do.

Where I Am Isn’t Where I Will Be

I’m encouraged because the quote reminds me that I can begin where I am.

Where I was, where I am now, and where I will be in the future, isn’t a surprise to God. And nothing I do or say will cause Him to love me less or more, because His love isn’t based on my personality or performance.

Because I love Him, I don’t want to stay where I am. And since I know I’ll need His help, I ask God to:

— Remind me that I’m His masterpiece, and a work in progress until I step into eternity.

— Help me use my talents to help others.

— Change or remove my weaknesses so I don’t harm others.

— Remind me that I always lose when I compare myself to others.

— Direct my thinking so I can stay focused on what He wants me to do.

— Help me remember that He is with me, and no matter where I begin, He knows the way from there.

No matter where I begin, God’s goal is to complete His masterpiece — and lead me safely home.

What helps you stay encouraged?

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Joni Vance is an award-winning author of fiction, essay, and poetry. She loves mystery, history, and how God reveals Himself every day.

May God reveal the mystery of His love in your life story.