The Cost of Disobedience

God Communicated Clearly

God communicates with each of us differently.

Sometimes I get messages from what I hear or read, and I certainly get direction from the Bible. But at times, God speaks to me in my spirit.

During my quiet time one morning about a year ago, God told me something He wanted me to do. The instruction was completely out of the blue, and didn’t make one bit of sense based on what was going on in my life right then.

It was also something I didn’t want to do. At all. I feared having to face the emotional consequences of being obedient. I wanted to protect myself from emotional pain.

My Reactions

So I kept talking to God about it, trying to make sense of what He had said.

I made a half-hearted effort to comply, but continued to think through all of the reasons why I didn’t want to follow His instructions.

Over the following few months, nothing came of my efforts, and the message seemed to fade from its prominence in my thoughts and my spirit. I thought I had tried, and it didn’t happen, so God had made something different happen. The matter seemed settled.

What Happened Next

Starting about two months ago, a situation I can’t control hit full force. And it has severely impacted my emotional well-being. As with many issues that damage emotionally, it has manifested itself in physical illness as well.

As I prayed for God’s help and understanding about how to handle the situation, I realized it was directly related to the message God had given me a year ago. If I had done what God had told me to do, I wouldn’t be in this situation. I would not have been around the people who initiated and perpetuated the disruption.

I’m living the consequences of my disobedience.

Let me be clear about this: I don’t view this as God punishing me.

I know that when God gave me that instruction, His goal was to protect me and get me away from a harmful situation He knew was in my future.

What Happens Now

— God loves me and is helping me through the situation. I don’t know how long it will last, but He does.

— He’s guiding me about what He wants me to do next.

— I’m taking the actions He’s telling me to take. Even while I’m still suffering the consequences of the original disobedience. And even though I have fear about what will happen in the future.

— God will always protect me, and wants me to do His will so I don’t suffer unnecessary consequences.

— I’ve once again been reminded that if God tells me to do something, whether it makes sense or not, I need to wholeheartedly do what He wants. And ask God to do for me what I can’t do for myself.

— God wants me to have a good life. Yes, life is life, and trouble will still occur at times. But I don’t want to cause pain I could have avoided if I had done what God said to do.

What Happens in the Future

I’d like to be super spiritual and say that from now on, I’ll always do what God wants, when and how He says to do it, and with complete joy and trust that things will work out okay.

I can’t make that promise. I’m just a human being who struggles with wanting my way, with fears that keep me stuck, and reasoning that sometimes can’t see everything necessary to make a healthy decision.

And I have God. Who loves and protects and guides and never gives up on me.

He speaks clearly and I hear Him when I’m willing to listen. And He helps me every second of my life.

So maybe, just maybe, I’ll choose to do what He says, and experience the cost of disobedience fewer times in the future.

What helps you do what God wants?

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Joni Vance is an award-winning author of fiction, essay, and poetry. She loves mystery, history, and how God reveals Himself every day.

May God reveal the mystery of His love in your life story.