In The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Adventure of the Empty House, Sherlock Holmes returns after being presumed dead for three years.
I won’t spoil the story for you by giving detail. But I do recommend you read how Conan Doyle cleverly portrays why Holmes chose to appear to be dead, and how the author brings the detective back to life. As well as the reaction of the other characters who cared about Holmes when they learn he is alive.
The story brought to mind the people who are important to us. And the wound we suffer when we must live without them.
Sometimes people don’t have a choice to go out of our lives. Perhaps they become ill and can no longer interact, or they die.
Other people make the choice to leave our lives. They estrange themselves, or don’t make it a priority to stay in touch.
Whatever the reason, we are left without the people who were, and maybe still are, important to us. And that is usually emotionally painful.
When I’m faced with that, I realize that I have a choice.
— If someone is ill and can’t communicate, I can choose to visit them. I may grieve the slow loss of the person they used to be, but it helps me to know I carry out my part of the relationship because I cherish them.
— If someone has passed away, I can grieve and remember the friendship or love we shared. And soften the blow of the loss by finding comfort with others who also love and want to remember that person.
— If someone leaves by choice, I can choose to keep in touch. But I must decide if it is healthy for me to do that even if they don’t respond.
But more important than all of these, is that I must choose to surround myself with caring, supportive people who want the best for me.
If I let the loss of someone overshadow any joy and camaraderie with caring people who are available, I am consciously choosing to emotionally leave the very people who want to share my life.
— I choose to wound those caring people. And leave them hurting and grieving.
— I choose to deprive myself of any friendship and love they want to give me. And I suffer the self-inflicted wound of choosing to lose.
My prayer for everyone is that we choose to enjoy caring, supportive people who want to share our lives.
What helps you overcome loss and choose joy?
The Self-Inflicted Wound of Choosing to Lose – What helps you overcome loss and choose joy? Share on XJoni Vance is an award-winning author of fiction, essay, and poetry. She loves mystery, history, and how God reveals Himself every day.
May God reveal the mystery of His love in your life story.
Joni
So timely. J and I were lamenting just yesterday the apparent loss of friends we dearly cared for. A simple misunderstanding. I’ve reached out countless times to only hear in a text, “I’m busy, busy.” At some point we must make the choice to either accept their answer or to move on and pray they will have a change of heart.
It isn’t easy, but a part of life. We truly miss them.
Some choices are hard.
D
Thank you for sharing, Debbie. I’ll be praying for you and your friends. I appreciate your comments.
There are so many losses I’ve struggled with in life. Sometimes it doesn’t even involve other people, but could be a loss of innocence in how you thought things were in life, and you find out they were totally not at all what you thought. Or the loss that occurs when changes happen that mess with your mind and emotions. It is hard to stabilize yourself as you go from one situation to the next. But, “joy comes in the morning” Psalm 30:5.
Thank you for sharing, Jane. Praying for you.
Thanks for your thoughts, Joni. Some people are only in our lives for a season. When the season is over, it is often hard to let go.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts, Phyllis. Yes, it is difficult to lose someone. I’m thankful for God’s comfort and peace.
My older sister passed away two months ago. We were close. It’s been a struggle for all my siblings as she was the first to go. We recognize the fragility of life on Earth. Your message is a wonderful reminder to treasure and nurture our relationships. Thank you.
I’m so sorry about your sister. I’m thankful my post was helpful, and I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Thank you, Joni. We are blessed when we are able to make choices. And it is tough when choices are made for us I pray I make the right choices when given the opportunity.
Thanks for sharing, Tim. I appreciate your support.